If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
