My friends, they love my intelligence
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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