Can Purell be used as lube?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
