sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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