Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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