all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
