I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
