Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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