I smell stomach acid.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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