Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
