oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
