Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
