you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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