now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
