i think i have two assholes
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
