That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
