I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
not ubering you a puppy
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
