Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
