I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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