I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
