I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
