Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
