Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
