Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
