fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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