yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
