Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
