Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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