So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
