I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
