Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
