Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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