i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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