Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
