im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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