thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
whose ass print is on the piano?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
