Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
