I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
