As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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