She's JV to your varsity
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
