mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
