this beer tastes like vomit already
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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