my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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