just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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