Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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