yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
