Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
