Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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