i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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