I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
last night I used snow as a chaser
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